i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
