i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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