We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
