I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
