i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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