im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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