so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
