You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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