I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
