i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
