In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to have your abortion
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
