i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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