we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
