I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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