i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
