that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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