That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize