he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Found your dick twin last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
