thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
