my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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