You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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