As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
