Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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