He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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