Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
