Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
