We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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