why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
