i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You ruined the universe
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize