So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
