Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
