shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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