You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
