Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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