I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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