I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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