he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Houston, we have a blender
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
