if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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