I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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