put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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