so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
