You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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