She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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