Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
