you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's like iHOP with fire
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
