Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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