I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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