If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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