What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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