Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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