Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
