I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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