it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize