Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
