Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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