Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We were destined to go to rehab together
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
