So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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