I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
