Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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