you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
