Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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