So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
