Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
