the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
